A somewhat strange thought went through my mind today, that is, we tend to finish our lives in this Planet Earth much lonelier than when we arrived here. When we are born, there is a crowd waiting for us: our parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, friends of all those, and more. We then arrive and are loved by a number of people that are real close to us and prepared to love us unconditionally (or almost). We become the center of attention and care, and our arrival is announced to all and celebrated by all.
Then, we start go grow up, biologically speaking as well as an individual. And we keep growing throughout our lives in several ways. Time goes fast, and pretty soon we are the ones becoming parents, and then grandparents. At one point, we get in to the last phase of our lives. Not sure when this actually starts....but we do have a feel for when it has already started. For one thing, we start to think we have become wiser, and our questions start to run real deep, reaching the farthest part of our consciousness, and generally not finding concrete, or at least complete, answers. But it will be exactly through persistent questioning and curiosity how we will eventually become much or really wiser, and, most importantly, realize so many important things in life.
But in this long journey, though, we may also notice that we are not as loved as we used to be. Whatever happened to all those that couldn't wait to greet us upon our birth? Well, some of them are no longer in this world; others are now far away, and others we have lost along the way including those we have added at different phases of our lives. Coming close to the end of our lives, many people may (unfortunately) fell like "they are all gone, and I am alone in this world".
Humm! How sad, you might say. And it is indeed sad. The question then becomes why this all happened. Or could it be that this is the way it is designed to be?! No way, of course. In this case, whom should we blame for this misfortune?
I will leave the above questions for you to reflect about, and hopefully share your conclusions with me and others. The other day I put a statement in the Facebook hoping to get some insights, but no one dared. I posted: "If you arrive at your final stages in this life being loved by your kids, that is realization; and, if, in addition, you end your life being loved by your spouse, that's a "home run". Add this to your considerations as well.
Saludos
Gilberto
Jan 17, 2012.
My dear Gilberto, I will share with you and your readers the idea that came to me while reading your post. "We are loved at the beginning for what we represent, we are loved through out our life for what we do, and we are love at the end of our life for what we are." As we go through life we manifest an unique sense of need for others, some people just need noise, people around them, others expect some kind of emotional investment from people around them, and a third group only knows about deep relationships, with heavy emotional content plus a large number of moral conditions, like loyalty and inconditional commitment. Usually lonely people are those who require from those around a high level of commitment and that is hard to find, some others have created a way of living that incompatible with others, with very strict routines and habits. Being alone is different from being lonely, many people at the end of life choose to be alone, in a way to run away from conventions of society, you can be alone but with many people who appreciates you and wish you well. Most of the time we failed recognizing how important we are for others and choose loneliness as a result of our twisted thought. Friendships can always be reactivated, lost loves can be found again, family will be always family, no matter how far we go. I'd like to end with a personal note. When I was in my early teens I didn't like to be alone I would do whatever to bring a friend along in any ocassion, just the idea of being by myself was a torture, until I heard this:"I'm never alone, I'm with myself" Today, sometimes I need to remember that phrase to find the strength and not to confuse being alone with being lonely. Best wishes for all.
ReplyDeleteDear Gilberto, this is an interesting view about elderness. My personal opinion resides into receiving back during elderness what we had sown during life. I see this principle very close at home with my grandparents over 85.Family always gather around them for whatever excuse we might find to be together and so happens this way because these are part of our family values . Maybe my grandparents do not have full house as in their earlier years, with children running around but who at 85 would endure such high levels of energy? My point is that as life progress, the mind and body also will change and mature so the human needs are different but most definitly when life is built over a solid base of values, morals and love, loneliness will only happen by choice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mss Turtle, for sharing your thoughts. I fully understand your point of view. No doubt... we get what we give, such is the Law.
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